Monkeys stone priest to death as ‘Planet of the Apes’ rises to replace collapsing human civilization

Munna Mishra, a priest in India, was recently stoned to death by a bunch of monkeys. Technically, he was bricked to death, because it was common house bricks that the monkeys used to commit the murder.

Father Mishra, who was apparently a Christian instead of a Hindu, was innocently sweeping the porch of his home when the dastardly apes, perched up on his roof, began dropping the fatal bricks on his head. The holy man was rushed to the hospital, but despite the valiant efforts of medical personnel to revive him, it was not to be.

According to his neighbors, these monkeys have been terrorizing the community for quite some time. In fact, they have now killed three people, and attacked many others with stones. They are also thieves, stealing food right out of the hands of unsuspecting humans, often biting them in the process.

It’s as if the monkeys are in charge of the humans, like in the classic 1960s movie Planet of the Apes. Except, at least in the movie the apes were intelligent and sophisticated, much to the surprise of Charlton Heston, who starred as the human astronaut. In real life, if Charlton were confronted by any of these stone-throwing monkeys from India, you can bet that he would introduce them to the business end of his Smith & Wesson. Unless they dropped a brick on his head first, and then pried the gun from his cold, dead hand.

Fortunately, the local government is taking action, with the police chief ordering the forest department to capture the sociopathic monkeys and send them to the Sanjay Gandhi Biological Park, which is a fancy name for a zoo.

Presumably these criminal apes will be behind bars there, and thus unable to do any more harm, but the victims who survived their assaults are probably wondering why they didn’t receive a harsher fate. Meanwhile, others wonder if apes making monkeys out of men is a preview of what’s to come if our civilization ultimately collapses, as many serious observers predict.


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